WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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