Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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