OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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