the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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