Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
