just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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