just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
