I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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