You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Randomize
