So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
