Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
