I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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