mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
just come out here and I will go home with you...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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