I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
