you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
