If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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