i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
she peed on how many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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