I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
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Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
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I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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