i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
