Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
