Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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