Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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