You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
