i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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