I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
