That's when you crack a 10am beer
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.