I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
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Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
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When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"