there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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