Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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