I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?