Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
