It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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