ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
