your thong is hanging out like whoa
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I think your dad took our porno
How does one acquire holy water?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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