Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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