i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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