I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize