BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
