you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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