Sry I called you an 8
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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