Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
