guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
