Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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