.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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