even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
The adults are the big ones right?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
