I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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