I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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