Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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