yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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