It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
