Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
