these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
