I want to stick my p in your. b.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Randomize
