i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize