I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
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I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
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Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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