she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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