My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
