come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
