I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
