I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
