Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
