Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Boobs speak an international language.
It's blow job season.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
