have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
